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Why Do We Feel Pain? What's it Good For?

Author

Michael Daigler
August 29, 2024

When I was younger my view of the world was simpler—only good in my view.

As I get older, I see more of what I judge to be as “bad”.

Pain from my own experiences and from others.

I wasn’t really asking “why is there so much pain?” in a direct way, but the lingering feeling still swam in the back of my mind.

Today I want to write about my current thoughts on what painful experiences are good for.

I won’t be exploring physical injury as much as I will be going into abstract feelings of pain or what you could call painful experiences.

I want the reader to come away with a new perspective of pain in their life and hope it stirs you to contemplate this subject a bit deeper in your day-to-day.

Separateness and Pain

There are two ways in which we can explore separateness and its relationship to pain:

  1. When we feel isolated from others and the world

  2. When we feel isolated from ourselves

     

Let’s explore these first and then tie it together.

Isolation From Others and the World

When you feel removed from everything, when you feel disconnected, you may feel a deep sense of loneliness and a wanting to be connected again.

With friends, past relationships, communities you see online, etc.

The separation we feel causes disconnection which is painful because we are attached to these things.

The ironic part is that we are creating the illusion of separateness only to miss the point—we’re already connected in a much larger game.

So the problem with this type of isolation stems from our clinging to our own attachments. Us wanting there to be more out there for us to be connected to.

But why?

Because we feel lack with ourselves.

The fear of being alone comes from:

  • the knowing that one cannot be along with oneself

  • the separation we create in our heads to give us things to cling to

You lose yourself in the world, and forget that you’re apart of it.

Isolation From Ourselves

Isolation from ourselves is when we lose ourselves to the world.

When I mean ourselves I mean two things:

  1. Yourself as an individual identity

  2. The Self or whatever you want to call that awareness looking through your eye sockets—the energy that moves throughout the entire universe

I will refer to the individual self as “ego” on and the connected self as “Self” from now on to draw the distinction.

So one level we reject the Self when we get lost in the actions of the world. We are too caught up in the clinging of these things in our head that we don’t see what we have right in front of us.

On another level, we reject our ego’s because we don’t want to accept ALL OF IT; the good and the bad: the bad habits, the negative judgements we cast on ourselves and others, the laughter, the love, etc.

Combine these two levels and you see that we create the illusion of separateness which makes us forget the Self, and we also reject parts of our egos because we judge certain parts as “not me”.

You may feel this pain of denial of ego and Self as deeper rooted feelings and repressed emotions.

Part of you know its closing itself off to the Love that comes with accepting these parts. And that’s what I’m going to dive into next.

Tying it Together

Okay so we know how we are creating isolation and why it can cause us pain.

But still why have it?

What I’m saying here is my personal perspective and thinking on this.

We have pain because the act of rediscovery and acceptance creates more Love.

The ability to transcend ego judgements of “good” or “bad” in both the world and your ego is something that shows a dedication to Love.

And through this process you find a feeling of expansiveness and connectedness.

Closing Thoughts

I recognize there is pain this world I have not been subject to and am not denying the suffering and the feelings of anguish towards this pain.

But what I am saying for all of us is that if you look into the pain, there is Love on the other side.

Opening your heart to it all is a great act of courage.

You’re saying “I love it all and am willing to be hurt by it”.

I want to leave off on a quote from Rumi which I love:

“No physician gives pills and remedies to the healthy;

I will become all pain, if I must, to be given the Remedy."

Rumi, Love’s Ripening

That’s all for now! ‘Til next time, much love and peace y’all 🤠 

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